I was assaulted - 5:05pm

had dropped off my husband from Trader Joes & the eye dr - stopped at Wells ATM on Golden Gate & Larkin and was heading back to the garage to return the carshare @ Polk Myrtle garage. Left on Leavenworth in middle lane, just past intersection of Eddy I saw in the left lane a car spot a parking spot and throw on the brakes. A black motorcycle riding way too close behind nearly hit him and started swearing at the driver of auto as I passed, later getting in left lane to turn left on Ellis. When I signaled and turned left onto Ellis I noticed same motorcycle was now behind me, so in my mind I'm thinking "OK very pissed off person is now behind me." Stayed in middle lane. Got the red light at Larkin, motorcycle behind me. Nothing weird. In next block signaled - switched to right lane preparing to turn and at this point motorcycle pulled alongside and guy screamed "what the f*ck do you think you're doing" - it was so startling I pretended not to hear and that's when he REACHED in the window and grabbed me - I grabbed his hand while I let the window roll up - that freaked him out and was only a block away from my garage and lights were green so I just bolted.

My mind's racing - thinking what did I do? Why didn't he assault the guy that almost hit him before? Thinking I can't call 911 (moronic on reflection) cuz I don't have my headset on and i just got a $250 ticket for that when law changed. So I figure just get to the secured garage and stay locked in the car. Motorcycle follows me onto Myrtle (a weird side street so at that point I knew this is NO good) alongside as if to drive me off the street onto sidewalk and then he starts hitting my car WHILE ON MOTORCYCLE. While garage door goes up he hops off bike (just behind me now so I can't see plate) and tries to block me from getting in the garage - I start to just drive into him - not fast enough to really do anything and he moves alongside pounding front and side windshield really hard, like he's trying to break the glass. White male 46 grey hair black motorcycle jumpsuit, black helmet with square visor - I can't really see him) I'm confusing this with another garage that locks from inside so I figure once the gate closes he's stuck in there with me till the police come.

Only this isn't that garage and he is following me literally kicking the drivers side of the car as I'm driving. I'm totally flustered and he's wailing on the passenger door just outside me so I can't figure out how I'd even get out of the car to kick his ass if that's the way I wanna go. WEIRDLY, instead being pissed off, I'm being some huge pussy trying to UNDERSTAND his MOTIVATION in doing this but he just keeps saying he'll kill me, so now I'm thinking maybe best NOT to get out of the car. I'm now trying to call 911 but the phone keeps saying disabled. (Thanks Apple - thanks to your shitty phone I may BE disabled in a few minutes.)

Like a geekoid P*SSY I keep punching the iPhone trying to get the call to connect and THAT'S WHEN I realize the door is open and he's grabbing me - in obsessively locking the car doors I must have actually unlocked them but NO TIME for semantics - I'm staring at a big black helmet but all i could think to do was point the camera phone and say "smile for the cops p*ssy - they're on their way". (I'm so full of sh*t cuz I couldn't get 911 and I couldn't switch the iphone to camera mode - plus he was just this big helmet).

Just then the garage door starts closing and he lets go of me to go run out of the garage - so now I'm chasing HIM - (like animals do instinctually - if he stopped and turned around again I'd've just run the other way out of instinct). He jumped on his cycle (I couldn't BELIEVE how quickly he started it and took off) and sped past me as I ducked under the garage door as it came down, took Myrtle to Larkin and went left right into traffic without stopping or yielding. The freakin iPhone wouldn't switch to camera mode from phone mode fast enough BUT since the phone freaked him out more than me I'm sure he thought I snapped pix - I couldn't look at his plate AND try to shoot and I thought a photo'd be more important so I missed his plate altogether like an a*shole - I saw California and plate was white. Motorcycle was all-black and BIG - Harley-esque.

Then 911 said it wasn't an emergency if he was gone and then I called the wrong non emerg # - then called the carshare to report it. Amazingly no real damage to the car apart from the rearview mirror being bent in - not even a mar on the glass. He couldn't kick too hard because he was pinned in between me and the wall of the garage. Called my husband and since he told me not to leave till he got there I figured I'd just report it to the police or do it at home as there wasn't anything to really show them.

SFPD I called @ 5:15p said they'd like to send someone to the garage and while waiting the bldg mgr of the bldg the garage is in asked what was wrong because he saw it on the video cameras. That's when I found out there is video of what happened, at least inside the garage. Maybe not TOO useful because he never took his helmet off and motorcycle wasn't really in line with the garage door. So cops come 5:25p and I relay this whole super WEIRD-ASS story to them and they say they'll put an APB for that description and call me if they see anything. I don't care so much at this point - but my testosterone level is through the roof and now that i know there's video I walk around a little and try to spot him.

So apart from aging my nerve endings by about 20 years, I'm fine. Weird, weird weird.